Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
