He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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