32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
