Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
