I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
