yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Michael Bay diarrhea
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
