just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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