break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize