I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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