Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
