There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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