I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
