The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
This baby is an asshole
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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