god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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