Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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