i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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