The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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