Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
