Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
