need another drink. this is the easiest way
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
