OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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