My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
