She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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