Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
