I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
