im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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