lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
