i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
