God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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