U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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