i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
