i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
