I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
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If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
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I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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