I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
