What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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