but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
