Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My dick has a subreddit
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
