I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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