i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
