I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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