Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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