Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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