I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
