i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
