Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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