I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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