I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
