How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
