Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
