My room smells like vodka and shame
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
