my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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