the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated