Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
