Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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