OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
