Hey man sorry I got all grabby
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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