Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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